Chapter VIII
Hey guys! I am sure you are gonna love this chapter. Waiting for your reactions!!
With every secret coming out in the air, it feels like the set of Riverdale, where both of them are just unaesthetic. Riu stays as quiet as a lifeless boat longing to be driven.
She just looks around at how beautiful the highway is and how contrastingly, she just feels so not pretty.
"Roo?" she hears him call out.
Not even realising that she has gone completely pink with hot tears running over her cheeks, she blankly says, "Please stop."
"Huh? Riu, we are getting late."
"I said STOP!"
Apparently, he gets the message and so he does pull over. Never feeling more guilty, Vidith waits for her to get down and reciprocates the same.
"Riu, I was going to tell you." he says with his head low.
"When? After your twins get married?"
"What?? Oh okay." he mumbles realising the irony. "No, Riu I am so sorry. I should have told you. There is no possible excuse. I feel like a complete ass."
"Ahem, you should! VIDITH NAIR! When were you possibly going to tell me about the day we used to jokingly talk about for like a whole era??!"
"Honestly, I didn't want to. I couldn't."
"Woah, that makes it so much better dude."
"No, I mean I didn't know how you would take it."
"What do you mean? Did you think I was secretly in love with you just like how every other co-best-friends story end? Grow up Vidith!"
He can't help but laugh a little. Then, immediately straightening his face he answers, "Don't be silly girl. That's not it."
"Then? You assumed me to be dead?"
"Will you allow me to speak?"
"Oh, you are ordering me now? Now it works on my terms." she says stubbornly but soon regrets it looking at his not-so-happy face.
"Fine, go on." Riu says at last.
"Riu, as much of a huge ball of horror I have been to you, I hadn't intended on doing any of it purposely." he starts.
Listening to his words gets her confused as she very well remembers Vidith saying that he doesn't want to be friends with her anymore the last time they spoke. He very specifically mentioned that he particularly has thought this over.
"When I told you that I never wanted to see you again, I regretted each and every word." Vidith continues.
"You sound like a hero in a rom-com. Common, be straight forward. Eight years back, you left with things being unsaid and now without beating around the bush, just tell me the truth. I never wanted to ask why but now I have to." Riu hurries with agony.
Vidith takes a deep breath and starts speaking again.
"Okay, when we were friends do you remember how I had started isolating from everyone? Eventually from you too but it started with all the classmates and family."
Riu just nods wanting to know more.
"Even though we were just sixteen years old, I was suffering from something defiled. I can't even explain it now.
Okay, straight up..I have OCD yo."
Just when she was thinking that she was having the most strange evening, her thoughts were being proven wrong. "The germs related thing?" she mumbles.
Vidith just laughs softly. "See, that's the issue. No matter how much we consider ourselves to be evolved, sometimes we just can't think out of the box. Well, I don't blame you. That's what probably most of them think about OCD. But no Roo, my disorder is more related to crucial thoughts."
"What do you mean Vidith?"
"Okay, something similar to anxiety. Like what you have. But on a more detailed stage. It's like I keep having these mental images and disturbing thoughts of me 'wanting' to hurt someone. I don't intend to, obviously. But it just happens."
He continues, "Definitely I had it all my life but Roo, the first time it hit was when we were a bunch of eleventh graders and all my thoughts were telling me was to hurt my..dad."
Feeling so very stupid and overwhelmed, Riu cant help herself but just hug him so very tight. She can hear him sniffling and just presses him further close providing him comfort.
"I am so very sorry Vidith. I didn't know. At all." she says softly.
"Vidith slowly ruffles her hair and smiles at her. "It's okay. No one did. I never tried approaching anyone either."
"It's just that we were in a generation might I say? That kind of a surrounding where no one really believed or even knew about mental disorders that I was not even aware that it was just my thoughts and not my will. Well anyways, as time grew it got worse." Vidith says with a voice so dark.
Now looking into her cold eyes he slightly whispers, "Before I knew it, the only person I badly wanted to hurt was..YOU."
~Ishaa Suresh ~
XOXO
With every secret coming out in the air, it feels like the set of Riverdale, where both of them are just unaesthetic. Riu stays as quiet as a lifeless boat longing to be driven.
She just looks around at how beautiful the highway is and how contrastingly, she just feels so not pretty.
"Roo?" she hears him call out.
Not even realising that she has gone completely pink with hot tears running over her cheeks, she blankly says, "Please stop."
"Huh? Riu, we are getting late."
"I said STOP!"
Apparently, he gets the message and so he does pull over. Never feeling more guilty, Vidith waits for her to get down and reciprocates the same.
"Riu, I was going to tell you." he says with his head low.
"When? After your twins get married?"
"What?? Oh okay." he mumbles realising the irony. "No, Riu I am so sorry. I should have told you. There is no possible excuse. I feel like a complete ass."
"Ahem, you should! VIDITH NAIR! When were you possibly going to tell me about the day we used to jokingly talk about for like a whole era??!"
"Honestly, I didn't want to. I couldn't."
"Woah, that makes it so much better dude."
"No, I mean I didn't know how you would take it."
"What do you mean? Did you think I was secretly in love with you just like how every other co-best-friends story end? Grow up Vidith!"
He can't help but laugh a little. Then, immediately straightening his face he answers, "Don't be silly girl. That's not it."
"Then? You assumed me to be dead?"
"Will you allow me to speak?"
"Oh, you are ordering me now? Now it works on my terms." she says stubbornly but soon regrets it looking at his not-so-happy face.
"Fine, go on." Riu says at last.
"Riu, as much of a huge ball of horror I have been to you, I hadn't intended on doing any of it purposely." he starts.
Listening to his words gets her confused as she very well remembers Vidith saying that he doesn't want to be friends with her anymore the last time they spoke. He very specifically mentioned that he particularly has thought this over.
"When I told you that I never wanted to see you again, I regretted each and every word." Vidith continues.
"You sound like a hero in a rom-com. Common, be straight forward. Eight years back, you left with things being unsaid and now without beating around the bush, just tell me the truth. I never wanted to ask why but now I have to." Riu hurries with agony.
Vidith takes a deep breath and starts speaking again.
"Okay, when we were friends do you remember how I had started isolating from everyone? Eventually from you too but it started with all the classmates and family."
Riu just nods wanting to know more.
"Even though we were just sixteen years old, I was suffering from something defiled. I can't even explain it now.
Okay, straight up..I have OCD yo."
Just when she was thinking that she was having the most strange evening, her thoughts were being proven wrong. "The germs related thing?" she mumbles.
Vidith just laughs softly. "See, that's the issue. No matter how much we consider ourselves to be evolved, sometimes we just can't think out of the box. Well, I don't blame you. That's what probably most of them think about OCD. But no Roo, my disorder is more related to crucial thoughts."
"What do you mean Vidith?"
"Okay, something similar to anxiety. Like what you have. But on a more detailed stage. It's like I keep having these mental images and disturbing thoughts of me 'wanting' to hurt someone. I don't intend to, obviously. But it just happens."
He continues, "Definitely I had it all my life but Roo, the first time it hit was when we were a bunch of eleventh graders and all my thoughts were telling me was to hurt my..dad."
Feeling so very stupid and overwhelmed, Riu cant help herself but just hug him so very tight. She can hear him sniffling and just presses him further close providing him comfort.
"I am so very sorry Vidith. I didn't know. At all." she says softly.
"Vidith slowly ruffles her hair and smiles at her. "It's okay. No one did. I never tried approaching anyone either."
"It's just that we were in a generation might I say? That kind of a surrounding where no one really believed or even knew about mental disorders that I was not even aware that it was just my thoughts and not my will. Well anyways, as time grew it got worse." Vidith says with a voice so dark.
Now looking into her cold eyes he slightly whispers, "Before I knew it, the only person I badly wanted to hurt was..YOU."
~Ishaa Suresh ~
XOXO
